sololoquy | open post

[ It's not what she wants to hear. In fact, it's the worst thing he could have said. It's evident in the way her spine prickles and her hackles rise. She is not defeated, that much is certain. She is dreading what comes next. Returning to Snoke empty-handed, with only news that the Resistance had slipped their grasp, will lead to her being the one punished. The impossibility of it is irrelevant. The fact that Ben Solo and the distraction he provides had nothing to do with it matters not.

What matters is that this failure equates a personal failure on her part when it is her duty to make up for a previous mistake. ]

Does it hurt that your mother doesn't trust you with her location because she knows you would sell her out for a bristlemelon? [ It's pointlessly insulting. But she doesn't retract it. She can only lash out at him. ]

[He can’t hold his laugh, though he tries. A part of him is viciously pleased to be useless to “the cause” just this once, but also Rey’s insult could hardly be called an insult when it was — half true. His judgement had not always been the best. That was not a secret. He wouldn’t sell them out willingly. He certainly wouldn’t pointlessly sentence them to their deaths.

But all of that aside, something just innately tells him that laughing was the wrong reaction, so he reflexively puts his hands up.]

Not really. It usually keeps me out of trouble. Present company nonwithstanding.

[He can’t resist that one. She even gets a smarmy little Solo grin from him. He can’t help what he was born with.]

[ There's a little twitch of something in the base of her lizard brain that warns her of danger when he laughs, when he offers her that lopsided grin. It's a crossed wire of some kind. Obviously there's no danger in it, but she bristles all the same, stiffening and stilling and staring back at him with a suspicious placidity. Her gaze narrowed, her eyes searching his face for some context for that sound. ]

I am harder to fool than debtors.

[ Which is, probably, the usual callers for Solo's head. She frowns a little then, though, and glances at the stormtroopers. She nods her heads in Ben's direction. ]

Take him.

[He senses what is about to happen before she demands it — he can’t explain it, but he feels a chill set in his blood that wipes the smirk off his face. He deliberately takes a few steps back, looking between Kira and the platoon with her.]

Hey—come on. We don’t have to do this again. You already got what you—

[But the Stormtroopers don’t hesitate; when Ben starts to back away, he finds himself checked in the gut and the knee, forcing him to the ground to be restrainted.]

Results.

[ It's an icy reminder. ]

Unfortunately, the Resistance is gone.

[ But she wouldn't be going back to Snoke with nothing. She'd be going back with Ben Solo, and that, perhaps, would be enough to lure his mother. She could hope, at least. It was the only offering she had, and her life had to be worth more to her than —

Than whatever that feeling was. ]

And you, our only tie to them. [ Rey walks up, leaning over to get at his eye level, hands behind her back lest she feel the instinct to reach out for him. ] You should have given us something.

[The wind knocked from his lungs, it takes a second for him to muster up the energy for a reply. One thing he knows for sure is that he doesn't want anywhere near the Supremacy. The prospect of a mind probe is -- horrifying, but not quite as terror inducing as one might think. No, he understands her perfectly.

She is going to give him to Snoke directly. That is terrifying. He has to think quick--]

--I can take you.

[It comes out on a blurt -- its a desperate lie, until a plan starts to form.]

I can take you to the base. But you can't bring the Stormtroopers -- they'll draw too much attention, and they'll run again.

[None of that appears to be a lie either, but Ben has gone slightly white, and he isn't meeting Kira's eyes. Shame?]

I thought you didn't know where the base was?

[ There's no denying the sharp interest she shows in that, however. It is precisely what she needs, offered at precisely the moment she needs it. No part of her wishes to hand him over to Snoke. She wants to keep him for herself, a secret, something that is finally only hers.

But he avoids her gaze, and she grows more suspicious for it. No. There's no need for suspicion. He's humiliated to have caved so easily. It will be troublesome if his conscience gets the better of him again. She reaches out then to tip his chin up, forcing him to look at her. ]

You're a liar who cheats other liars. Why would I trust you now? Go on. Tell me.

[ Her needling is genuine. She wants a reason. ]

Not here.

[He feels the stormtroopers back off some once Kira tips his chin upward. There's some real honesty in his discomfort, though the root of it is nebulous. Still, there is nothing to hint at dishonesty.

Everything she says is perfectly valid, after all. He could just give her a location to a wild goose chase and then run away again.

So:]

Because...you don't need to trust me. I'll take you there myself.

Or you'll take me as far away from them as you can before we conclude there is no destination.

[ The notion leaves her seething. It's cruel of him, she thinks, to dangle in front of her precisely what she needs and to do so knowing there's little room for her to trust its legitimacy. Not deliberate on his part, she's sure — he is too stupid to be cruel — but painful all the same. ]

And I will have wasted my time on Ben Solo, yet again.

[ Snoke won't tolerate that. ]

You don't believe that. No time with me is "wasted".

[Again, Ben can't help his smarmy comment. He has no idea what is really going through her head, but he can only hope to fake it til he makes it. Because if he gets put on that ship and mailed off to Snoke, he has no idea what is going to happen to him from there.

He's trying so hard.]

Besides, you already lack a location. So even if I were lying, which I'm not, nothing changes. You still have nothing.

[His dad would be so proud of him. He hopes. He wishes.]

Your call, sweetheart.

Edited 2018-09-29 23:18 (UTC)

[ The thing about Kira is that people don't treat her like she's a person. Snoke least of all, of course, but no one else does either. She gets about 30% of the spectrum of human emotion on a good day, as seen through: fear, misery, grief, panic, hate, and anger. These are the things she sees out of people, and no one goes out of their way to have a normal conversation with her.

And she's been with Snoke since she was four years old. That's fifteen years for her to lean into the asocial nightmare of her human existence. She stares at him, unblinking, as he makes what seem to be ?? ? come-ons? ?? Which like, in concept, she is familiar with, but they have never been directed towards her.

So, congratulations. For a minute she's full-on flustered. More confused than anything else. And then she realizes she doesn't know how to respond to that, and that makes her uncomfortable and frustrated, and finally she realizes he's almost certainly fucking with her, and ah yes. There it is. Her old friend Interminable Anger.

She grabs him by the back of his neck and shoves him forward. It's too rough a shove, and it lands him in the dirt courtesy of him ... having been on his knees to begin with. What a good time. ]

On the shuttle. Now.

[#worthit

Ok but actually — he did not expect that reaction, or anything remotely close to it. So he gets shoved into the dirt handily, a large, unbalanced and bound tangle of limbs. He blinks a few times, digesting the reaction prior to the anger.

She really doesn’t know anything but violence. Maybe she never has? That strikes him as horribly sad — and probably another good reason the Resistance needs to win the war. Hell.

He feels one of the Stormtroopers lift him to his feet and shove him, at which point he picks up his step lightly to catch up to Kira.]

Something I said? [That is mostly rhetorical, just to get her attention.] I mean, you are welcome to disagree. Just don’t expect me to agree with you. In fact, we definitely haven’t spent enough time for you to have an opinion.

[This is way too much talking. He is making himself uncomfortable.]

[ The ramp of the nearby shuttle descends presumably at the operation of one of the stormtroopers, for Kira does nothing to affect it. Or maybe it's the Force. ~Spooky.~ Probably not because she shoots him an obviously distracted glance out of the corner of her eye, brow furrowed with a still evident frustration. ]

As you'll recall, the last time I spent in your company was unremarkable. You are not the first to end acquaintance with me by fleeing.

[ Just the first to survive and evade her as long as he has. There's some chagrin there, some damage to her reputation. Yet this isn't about revenge. She isn't irate because of that, but because her fascination with him persists in spite of it. ]

I have no intentions of spending more time with you than is absolutely necessary. [ Yeah. Snoke would be happy to hear that one. ] You will give my pilot the coordinates of the rebel base, and then you will be gagged. Silence has made you nominally more tolerable.

Just a life tip: that tends to happen when you take people hostage.

[He can’t stiffle his nervous swallow when the gangplank drops, amd he doesn’t go to move up it until a stormtrooper shoves him, at which point he glares behind him for a moment.

Then his eyes go back to Kira just in time to hear her plan.]

Yeeeeah....that isn’t going to work. You can’t just land at the base.

Your concern is touching.

[ She sounds bored with it as she steps up into the shuttle with him. It's surprisingly roomy on the inside. There's a small living space with a single cot in it for overnight use just at the head of the ramp, and beyond that, a bridge with a collection of jump seats.

Obviously for short term ferrying, or a single person's use for intra-system journeys. ]

I'm not afraid of rebels. [ And, of course, she won't be without back-up. Once they find the base, all she'll be doing is getting a close glimpse of it and telling the Finalizer where to shoot. ]

And I would never dream of suggesting such, your highness.

[These living arrangements look familiar. Is Kira going to sit and watch him sleep again? Or will it be a swift trip?

Focus, Solo.]

But you are assuming they won’t see you coming. And if you land a safe distance and try to find it yourself, well...

[He shrugs.]

Either I am gonna help you, or we’re not going to get anything done.

[ He comes up with a new thing to call her every time he opens his mouth, it seems. 'Sweetheart.' 'Your Highness.' All different ways to mock her. This one is more tolerable. It doesn't come with the warped imitation of affection. It is more honest, targeting her position. She is not a politician, though, and she doesn't have a title to correct him with. It shouldn't matter. She doesn't want it to matter. ]

Your terms are unacceptable.

[ She delivers it bluntly, waving the troopers ahead out of the living space. They can handle the shuttle. Kira does not sit, nor does she indicate that Ben should. ]

I will not walk alone into a rebel base. [ She's not afraid of rebels, but neither is she a fool. ] Find a better strategy, or we will do this my way.

You won’t be alone. I will be with you. Assuming you’ll let me.

[He shifts his shoulders in a bit of a mock struggle, in hopes that Kira might find his pathetic struggling worth erasing. Believe it or not, Ben does take that seat and squints upward at her.]

You think the Resistance is going to want to help me after I bring you there? Come on. You are smarter than that.

[ Something flutters in her chest. The kind of thing that makes her want to strangle it and stamp it out. 'You won't be alone,' he says. She's afraid of it, if she's being honest. No one has ever offered her that, and she's afraid of what's at the end of that offer. Everything Snoke had ever given her had come with a string attached. Usually more than one.

Ben is no different. He is selfish, opportunistic. ]

Unless you plan to bring me to them in trade. Make me their prisoner.

[A smile spreads on his face — what appears to be genuine flattery.]

Is that what you are afraid of?

[She is afraid that Ben Solo is going to turn her over to a bunch of soldiers that she could probably kill in ten seconds flat. Or perhaps he is giving her too much credit. Honestly ... she scares him.]

[ No.

She's afraid of him. But she can't very well say that. The long silence speaks to it, though, made worse by his smiling face. ]

I'm not afraid.

[ Better to lie and hope he's a poor sabacc player. It's probably the biggest lie she's ever told directly, though that's likely in no small part because she has made a habit of rarely speaking at all. She's afraid to be alone with him. Afraid that she'll disappoint Snoke, and be punished accordingly. She's been afraid since the day her parents sold her, and she hasn't stopped being afraid. ]

You are.

[Ben comments very gently, tilting his head with interest. What could she possibly be afraid of? He wants to press, wants to dig and find the sourcr — maybe exploit it, see if he can uncinch Snoke’s claws.

That feels like a pipe dream, but something about all of this tugs at him and makes him uncomfortable.]

Full disclosure here — I am not sure anyone in the Resostance standa a chance against you. So.

[ And that, perhaps the most terrifying thing of all: he sees her. It alights a humming current along her skin, makes it impossible for her to turn her gaze away from him. He probes at something inside of her that she had believed lost. Humanity, she thinks, though that might be a blind, foolish hope. ]

Is your ship on Ryloth?

[ She can hear her blood in her ears as she asks it. Racing. It drowns out the ambient sound of the troopers priming the engines. ]

And spaceworthy?

[She keeps surprising him in nee and interesting ways. This time, he hesitates for a moment — after all, he had just sort of admitted that she was one of the most powerful people in the galaxy — and now she wants to see his ship.]

...yes.

[The idea of putting a Dark Force user on the Millenium Falcon makes some piece of him sick to his stomach, but this was probably his only chance to try something crazy. And his only chance to stay out of Snoke’s immediate clutches.

The Stormtroopers definitely aren’t coming though.]

Why?

[ It would mean trusting him. That's the argument one part of her brain makes, while the other assures her that she could kill him if he tried anything, that she would spot the danger coming a mile away. She is exceptional. He is nothing.

The truth is that she'd made her decision before she'd asked.

A heavy moment later, she breaks his gaze to look into the bridge. ]

Lower the ramp. Return to the Finalizer. Instruct the General to wait for me to make contact. [ She glances at Ben and nods her head to indicate the ramp. ] Take me to it.

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