[ the emotions that pour through the link between them are like nothing she's associated with kylo ren before. pride, but with more levity. delight. it echoes back at him from her end β strongly enough that she has to wonder if it hasn't really come from her in the first place and fed back through in a loop.
it's overwhelming, watching the lines between them blur like this. she could lose herself in it. that dark shadow, staved off for now, could still seep in and she might not even think to stop it. but β¦ it's comforting, too. ]
No.
[ it's an agreement β one she can only think to attribute to the notion that they must be on that same track, still. headed to the destination they need to go to. a destiny. for her, in him. wrapped up together. he had tried to tell her that, of course. on viridian sea: you have something better than bloodlines. only now does she truly believe it. only now can she feel it.
but his question spurs a hundred others in the back of her mind. chatter that starts to crowd the ambience. will this continue? if it doesn't, what will happen to the both of them? if poe hasn't already turned finn against her, will she be able to keep it from him? to make him understand, ever?
there's so much they still don't know. ]
Maybe it only happened then because we needed to see it. [ the implication, of course, that they don't now. the space between them was still there β compromises to be made, differences to be reconciled and detangled. but it seems smaller now. they have already been brought together. it would be harder, now, to separate them than anything else.
she knows she should release his hand, take her things, and go. she should make her way from this room and put it behind her while she can still ride the strength this has brought her. but again, separating feels β¦ impossible. she looks down at their hands. ]
[The answer to -- what? He doesn't even remember asking a question, before they had reached for one another. But somehow, they had both encountered the same vision.
Following that train of thought threatens to drown him in his own mind. Fortunately, Rey's own distraction brings him back to the present, and his eyes follow her's. He can feel her desire to pull away, and the impossible weight sitting on their wrists that holds them together.
He doesn't thirst for the contact like she does. Its easier for him to untangle that knot. So he starts to unfurl his fingers, which feels like peeling peanut butter off the roof of his mouth.]
They will be back soon.
[He shares her desire for her to get away from them, for multiple reasons.]
[ when his hand starts slipping away, she realizes how desperate she is to cling to it. her pulse quickens, briefly, but only until she glances up to search his face. this isn't a retreat; he's not flinching away, curling back in on himself as he had after the ambush. it's β¦ for now.
however reluctantly, she opens her hand. still she finds her fingers brushing against his hand as they pull back. she wants to savor that warmth. eventually it's just her knuckles brushing the heel of his hand, and then nothing. she presses her lips into a resolved line, accepting the necessity. ]
I will.
[ the room comes back into focus around her. she can no longer sense the movement outside his window. the light filters in differently. the nauseating feeling of double passes. she is herself again, and no one else. it's like coming up for air. ]
But before I do β¦ I think we should try this again. I don't mean now. [ there's a fever in her voice. ] Just that we should keep trying to understand this and master it. I was able to find you during the festival. I could feel you, and follow that feeling. I wonder if we can't do the same thing to provoke this.
[ it's the best lead she has. latching onto that bleed-through she was feeling and chasing it. reaching out for him. ]
I think we should try. [ this time when she reiterates it, the words stand as a haphazard sort of invitation into her life. an open-ended welcome that's sure to be rocky as they sift through it, even assuming it winds up working. ] We should be the ones in control.
[The dark swims back into his vision, and he finds his breath regulating again, a dark calm sinking into his veins. He feels cold -- an unfamiliar cold that picks at his skin under the soft material of his more casual nightwear, and he exhales in an attempt to cleanse himself of the remnants of their most recent revelation.
Back into himself. Back to familiar crawlspaces, where he doesn't have to consider a perspective other than his own. For a second, it seems like he doesn't hear her proposal, focused instead on his lap and a distant pain in his knees that he doesn't know the origin of.]
I agree.
[We should be the ones in control. That's what he agrees with. Trying this again seems ... challenging, and potentially out of reach. But he understands the implication, that she had felt his fury from across the ambush. He'd felt the same when Anakin was still among them. His presence was clearer than anything else he could see and feel, at any time of the day. Now, he has been replaced by Rey, and he finds himself almost glad for it.
At least Rey pretended to be interested in his power and potential.
To ignore all of that and pretend it didn't exist would not only waste the potential of what they could do, but would harm them when the time came to confront their shared vision. This was the best course.]
[ somehow his agreement still comes as a surprise to her. a wave of relief crashes over her almost violently. but it helps her suppress that impulse to cling to what little she felt she had. she nods in return, and for a moment, hovers there beside him. it takes her a few moments to realize that she must then budge and remove herself from the situation.
slowly, she picks herself up, and in dusting herself off, notices the lingering red marks on her knees, where the floor had scratched them. they're not bleeding freely, but they will scab. she rubs dirt away from the scratches and grabs her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. then she takes her staff in hand. ]
When I see you again β¦ I'll let you know what I've discovered.
[ she looks him in the eye then. does she look like he does? flushed and spent by their mental efforts? if she does, he doesn't seem to notice. she drops her gaze and turns, slipping out through the door.
she can still feel him behind her, but leaving him behind does the job of letting the bond fade, and eventually, she is alone in her mind again. but β¦ maybe just a little less alone than she had been before. ]
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no subject
it's overwhelming, watching the lines between them blur like this. she could lose herself in it. that dark shadow, staved off for now, could still seep in and she might not even think to stop it. but β¦ it's comforting, too. ]
No.
[ it's an agreement β one she can only think to attribute to the notion that they must be on that same track, still. headed to the destination they need to go to. a destiny. for her, in him. wrapped up together. he had tried to tell her that, of course. on viridian sea: you have something better than bloodlines. only now does she truly believe it. only now can she feel it.
but his question spurs a hundred others in the back of her mind. chatter that starts to crowd the ambience. will this continue? if it doesn't, what will happen to the both of them? if poe hasn't already turned finn against her, will she be able to keep it from him? to make him understand, ever?
there's so much they still don't know. ]
Maybe it only happened then because we needed to see it. [ the implication, of course, that they don't now. the space between them was still there β compromises to be made, differences to be reconciled and detangled. but it seems smaller now. they have already been brought together. it would be harder, now, to separate them than anything else.
she knows she should release his hand, take her things, and go. she should make her way from this room and put it behind her while she can still ride the strength this has brought her. but again, separating feels β¦ impossible. she looks down at their hands. ]
no subject
[The answer to -- what? He doesn't even remember asking a question, before they had reached for one another. But somehow, they had both encountered the same vision.
Following that train of thought threatens to drown him in his own mind. Fortunately, Rey's own distraction brings him back to the present, and his eyes follow her's. He can feel her desire to pull away, and the impossible weight sitting on their wrists that holds them together.
He doesn't thirst for the contact like she does. Its easier for him to untangle that knot. So he starts to unfurl his fingers, which feels like peeling peanut butter off the roof of his mouth.]
They will be back soon.
[He shares her desire for her to get away from them, for multiple reasons.]
You should go.
no subject
however reluctantly, she opens her hand. still she finds her fingers brushing against his hand as they pull back. she wants to savor that warmth. eventually it's just her knuckles brushing the heel of his hand, and then nothing. she presses her lips into a resolved line, accepting the necessity. ]
I will.
[ the room comes back into focus around her. she can no longer sense the movement outside his window. the light filters in differently. the nauseating feeling of double passes. she is herself again, and no one else. it's like coming up for air. ]
But before I do β¦ I think we should try this again. I don't mean now. [ there's a fever in her voice. ] Just that we should keep trying to understand this and master it. I was able to find you during the festival. I could feel you, and follow that feeling. I wonder if we can't do the same thing to provoke this.
[ it's the best lead she has. latching onto that bleed-through she was feeling and chasing it. reaching out for him. ]
I think we should try. [ this time when she reiterates it, the words stand as a haphazard sort of invitation into her life. an open-ended welcome that's sure to be rocky as they sift through it, even assuming it winds up working. ] We should be the ones in control.
no subject
Back into himself. Back to familiar crawlspaces, where he doesn't have to consider a perspective other than his own. For a second, it seems like he doesn't hear her proposal, focused instead on his lap and a distant pain in his knees that he doesn't know the origin of.]
I agree.
[We should be the ones in control. That's what he agrees with. Trying this again seems ... challenging, and potentially out of reach. But he understands the implication, that she had felt his fury from across the ambush. He'd felt the same when Anakin was still among them. His presence was clearer than anything else he could see and feel, at any time of the day. Now, he has been replaced by Rey, and he finds himself almost glad for it.
At least Rey pretended to be interested in his power and potential.
To ignore all of that and pretend it didn't exist would not only waste the potential of what they could do, but would harm them when the time came to confront their shared vision. This was the best course.]
When you go to the Sea Clan.
no subject
slowly, she picks herself up, and in dusting herself off, notices the lingering red marks on her knees, where the floor had scratched them. they're not bleeding freely, but they will scab. she rubs dirt away from the scratches and grabs her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. then she takes her staff in hand. ]
When I see you again β¦ I'll let you know what I've discovered.
[ she looks him in the eye then. does she look like he does? flushed and spent by their mental efforts? if she does, he doesn't seem to notice. she drops her gaze and turns, slipping out through the door.
she can still feel him behind her, but leaving him behind does the job of letting the bond fade, and eventually, she is alone in her mind again. but β¦ maybe just a little less alone than she had been before. ]