sololoquy | (no subject)

[ she is so chill right now this is what chill looks like. no, really, she's actually so focused on the task that she's not even thinking about like 'hey man maybe it was sketchy that ben tried to miND CONTROL ME INTO BRINGING HIM LUKE that doesn't seem like a thing a good person does.' ]

Good thing I don't need to compel information from any other Force sensitives then.

[ which is almost sweet. it was like ... so close to being sweet. ]

Thanks.

[Well, he thinks its pretty sweet, actually. Which is why she doesn't get a reply for a while, even though its totally in character for him to not reply at all.

He does eventually reply.]

You're welcome.

[#yikes.]

[ She's more surprised when she gets a reply after all that time than anything else. And then that gets her thinking like oh wait he wasn't just blowing her off like he has twICE NOW ?? which means he was just ...

Busy, probably. She huffs out a sigh. Better not to assign significance to anything with him. ]

But the other, that sleeping trick, it's similar right?

[ Keeping her options open, but that means he has to explain more. ]

I'd have to touch their minds to do it. Establish a bridge, then what?

Compelling a physical action takes more energy than searching for information. It is easier for the mind to resist, which means you must concentrate harder.

To compel, you must build the bridge, and plant the thought. The target who knows nothing of the Force will usually give it voice instinctively. Some need further coaxing.

To control, you must plant the thought with greater force, so that the mind believes it is already acting.

And I'm supposed to do that in rapid succession?

[ That sounds ... hard. Like, all of her experience having to focus real hard to pull off mind trick telepathy tells her that this sounds hard.

Like not hard enough that she's going to shy away from it, but hard enough that she's surprised he was like yeah you can pull that off for your first time no problem. That awkward moment when Kylo Ren has high expectations of you. ]

It will tire you. But I think you are capable.

[There's also that part where not everything has to be done with brute force, but that's the only way he knows how to do anything. He hadn't seen how she compelled that stormtrooper after all.

It was far more...pleasant than anything he would have done. If mind controlling could be pleasant.]

Start with one. It will start a chain reaction. You only need to continue until your numbers overwhelm their own.

I'd rather avoid a battle entirely, if we can.

[ Not win one. But his point is well-met. A partial success can still be a full success, as long as they can win the conflict that follows. She's just worried about Nama and the hostages getting hurt in the process.

It'd be easier if he were here to contribute, but no, he'd gone with Youmi. But. Well, that doesn't mean he can't help. ]

You said you're on horseback, right? Sounds boring.
Keep a clear head.

[ He'd managed to establish the connection once. If she winds up needing to reach for him, maybe it could offer some clarity, or some kind of muscle memory she could borrow off of him somehow. Even Rey is having a 'that's not how the Force works' moment about it, but honestly they're making this bond up as they go, so. It seems worth ensuring as an option at least. ]

It is different. But the journey is long, and that was the best option.

[What he doesn't say is how much the horses hate him, and how bad he is at it, and how much his horse keeps stopping along the way.]

[ He dug in on that detail. Maybe it's because he's a tree of a man and maybe it's because he scares animals (she remembers Zeta-12) and maybe it's because it's slow and not like his command shuttle but she's positive now that he's not loving this. ]

You're hating it, aren't you?

[Hate is a strong word for what he is feeling right now, but he's going to practice the art of saying things people want to hear.]

Yes.

If they smell half as bad as luggabeasts do, I don't blame you. At least it's not as hot here.

I have smelled worse than these creatures.

[This small talk thing though? Really weird.]

You should focus on extracting Nama.

I'm quite focused, thanks. Waiting for another guard rotation on the wall.

[ this text brought to you by: sitting in a tree. ]

Stealth is tedious.

As tedious as playing escort to royalty.

Should have come with me. Just think, you could be sitting in a tree instead of on a horse.

I would not be sitting in the tree.
I would have moved already.
Besides, it was not an option.
I do not yet trust the other members of our team enough to have left trhe dowry in their possession.

[ Right. Because he would have murdered the rebels already and just stormed the castle. She just rolls her eyes at that and goes on to take particular notice of "yet" before ultimately settling on responding to the last bit because it's somehow

the least incendiary. ]

Right. The pearls.

[ She'd seen the post. "Creep" is apparently a Force-transmitted disease. Anyway, this is still going to be inflammatory, but it's snarky instead of a can of worms, so: ]

I didn't know you were such a romantic.

It is a political marriage.
It has nothing to do with romance.

[Not that a desert scavenger from Jakku would know anything about that.]

[ not wrong ]

Difference being?

A political marriage is symbolic, and does not require any attraction between either party.

Sounds lonely to me, tying yourself to someone you don't even like.

[ He may not be a romantic but at least one person here believed in fairy tales of jedi and Luke Skywalker so. ]

Oh?
You would make a poor Jedi if you were unable to put duty above yourself.

[Just saying.]

[ Wow, that's a can of worms after all. It digs at whether or not it's counter to her 'duty' to the Resistance to pursue this interest she has in him, which digs into whether she has a duty to the Resistance at all when there's no way of knowing they'll build something better than the First Order when the New Republic gave rise to the First Order in the first place. It's a rabbit hole.

An unproductive rabbit hole. She pushes it aside to deal with the issue in front of her. She's not good at horizon. And the issue in front of her is Kylo taking potshots at her Jedi aspirations. So what comes out first is biting. ]

I didn't realize you had room to talk about what makes a poor Jedi.

[ But he probably doesn't care about that like she does. So she moves past 'lash out from hurt' and into actually engaging his point. Go figure. ]

You're asking them to be symbols instead of people, to deny themselves love. What's the point of a peace that doesn't allow people to live full lives?

[ Another can of worms. Isn't that what she had asked of Luke? To come back and be a symbol? Wasn't it what she wanted from Ben? Was that fair? But those were things that would help them get love. It seems less ... cold, somehow. But it's certainly a muddy pool of hypocrisy. ]

No? I thought I might be an authority on the subject, all things considered.

[He's not about to play games with that. He'd once had dreams of being a Jedi too -- short lived, and more focused on finding control than being a hero to anyone. But a young boy's dreams nonetheless.]

That is a utopian fantasy. Someone will always have a responsibility to lead. Leading comes with burdens, and requires respect from the people.

[And respect was measured differently by all kinds of people. For some, living a full life included sacrificing their personal desires and putting the needs of others before themselves. But thinking about that makes him think of his mother.

So he deletes that message before he sends it.]

[ His words resonate because of course they do; she had savaged Luke for running off and denying his responsibility to correct his mistakes. But confronting his problems seems a lot less to ask someone than imitating human connection and embracing self-denial.

(She might have asked what 'utopian' was, but as it turns out, Rey can do context clues, and 'fantasy' hits hard at her idealist heart regardless — just like with Luke, she's left feeling like a scolded child who was too romantic.) ]

Responsibility to lead, yes, but what are they leading people towards? Some burdens seem too much to ask of anyone.

Maybe they'll choose to. Maybe they think like you do, like the Jedi. But I wouldn't ask anything of someone that I wouldn't want for myself. And political marriage, that asks them to be less than human.