sololoquy | (no subject)

No.
I am not.

[But he definitely was before he got here. :^)]

[If they were face to face he probably would've been unable to stop himself from the dubious "Really?" that wants to escape there. Ah, well. He still finds it out hard to believe, but he supposes given where they are, and the wide range of personalities and levels of mental stability present among the volunteers, there may very well have been someone who shrugged and said why not, or somehow found him perversely likable, or took him pity on him--

Oh. Oh.

...Really, poppet? He wishes he could be more surprised.]

Bet you a quid that's a highly recent development though.

What is a quid?

[He's angry facing really hard somewhere right now, so Shaw is definitely missing out on that satisfaction. He is NOT going to give him the pleasure of confirmation.]

A nicker of readies.

[And now he's just being extra obnoxious. Also he is completely convinced, personally, that he knows exactly what happened. It would just be the cherry (ha) on top to get Kylo to admit it.]

YOU ARE JUST SAYING WORDS.

Remind me to teach you how to play Mornington Crescent sometime. I think you'll love it.

[Kylo Ren is sufficiently riled in that he does not reply, because Shaw is still just saying words and he still refuses to admit that he was a sad and repressed virgin for a very long time.]

[Normally at this point he'd walk away laughing, in essence, but no. Far as he's concerned this conversation has just gotten started.]

Sorry, you still there?

Think your chip must be malfunctioning, Ren. First all caps-lock and then nothing. You might have to ask ROSIE to give you a brain scan.

[He is not calm, but he's at least numb enough not to caps lock again right away.]

You have nothing of merit to say to me.
Go away.

You know you're just giving it away that I got to you, right?

Come on. You can try a bit harder than that. If there's one thing I saw the other night it's that you can be bloody stubborn.

You may have also noticed that I have a very minimal amount of patience.
And I do not understand why you are contacting me.

Perhaps I want to get to know you better. Since you seem to think I have no idea what I'm talking about.

I don't think that you have no idea what you're talking about.
I KNOW that you don't have any idea what you're talking about.

[....but like, also kind of curious if he's telling the truth.]

What makes you think I will be of any use to you?

[Because he's also not a COMPLETE idiot. "Get to know you better" is just a euphemism for "I want to figure out how useful you are". Carla already mapped that one out for him.]

[It's so cute how he tries to join them in the manipulation game and successfully toddles these very first steps. Somebody, get the camera.]

A couple of reasons. One, we have a mutual companion, that's always a good jumping off point.

Two, we might have a mutual cause. Not that I believe for one second you're concerned about the same issues that your lady-love is, but I'd bet another quid - which is slang for a pound, which is basic currency in my country of origin, by the by - that you're going to be roped into wherever she's going and whatever she's doing anyway.

Three, there's something about you that I'm still trying to figure out. You have secrets, and potential. I have an interest in both of those.

Four, you amuse me. Simple as that.

[Wow. He can't use the Force to detect lies with text, not really -- but its hard to read all of that and imagine Shaw is lying to him. He'd gain nothing from it.]

She is NOT your companion.

[Lets just. Get that out of the way. Chest beating and all.]

You want to know who I am? I will tell you.
My name is Kylo Ren. I am the Master of the Knights of Ren. My life is sworn to the First Order, and its duty to bring Order to the galaxy at all costs.

Nothing of who I am matters here.
And it did not matter to the last organization I conscripted with either.

I think she's allowed to have friends. Take it up with her if you like, but I can tell you already what that answer's likely going to be.

[Look he can already tell whatever their deal is, it is one heck of a hot mess. But he still remembers Rey's fire the first time they spoke. Her faith in what's right. She may let Ren do a lot of things, but he doubts she'll let him control her utterly.]

You're wrong. It does matter. But we'll come back to that. Does the notion bother you?

I have had several years to get used to it.

[A noncommittal 'yes'.]

Get used to what, love?

Speak up. I want to hear you say it.

[In a matter of speaking.]

[His two selves are at odds here. The alpha male, who does not desire to bow his head just because a stranger told him to, and the servant, always looking to comply with those who have stronger wills than his own.

There is a delay.]

I have grown used to fact that my titles and various accolades mean nothing in the face of the multiverse.
This is not the first time I have been tasked with a mission to prevent its disintegration.

[He notes that delay, and reads good things for himself into it. But he's trying not to push too hard and overplay his hand. Ren's so easy to trigger it's too simple to make him stomp off frustrated before one has a chance to plant half the seeds they want.]

Well no, it sounds like that's what you were trained for from the start. Bringing "order" to the galaxy and all.

[He knows what sounds like aggrandizing and possibly sinister motivational mission statements when he hears it. If anything it only makes him feel more secure in what he's already guessed. Men who let themselves be roped into such things are unstable, troubled and dissatisfied. Both with themselves and their lives.]

What you've done shapes you, your past adds to your character and I assume lends you a certain level of skill. You're not the first here to tell me that what we were before volunteering for this ride means nothing to this place. So I hope you won't take it personally when I tell you the same thing I told him: I don't think that's true at all.

[There is another calculated pause. Nothing Shaw says is incorrect -- but Kylo has the sense that there is an angle to this that he can't quite pick up on.]

That may be true.
But my skillset is of no use, here.

People might say that about mine. But I believe if you're good enough at something, you can always find uses for it.

[Case in point knowing how to lead people, how to read them, push them and play them, work on the fly and with your confidence control them - it's come into a lot of use here.]

[Kylo is doing some serious mental processing here.]

And what is your skillset, exactly?

I know how to fight, how to hunt, how to analyze, how to push my limits to their fullest. I know my way around the human body, around weapons, machinery, and all sorts of wonderfully useful equipment. And of course, I know how to kill. Quickly, efficiently, and without remorse or hesitation. I was a soldier first after all. I'm sure you know how that is.

["Soldier" does not explain this attitude entirely, or even come close. But there are a certain type among soldiers, that are either drawn to that profession or made that way by it. If Ren's background truly is what it's sounding like to Shaw, he figures he'll have run into the type.]

You are an special operations assassin.

[He relates like, a lot. He doesn’t come right out and say that though. Admitting they have things in common feels a little like losing this argument they aren’t having.]

I fail to understand how those skills assist you here.
Most people do not like being in pain.

[“Most people”. He has at least figured out that he likes a little pain mixed wth pleasure, but Shaw doesnt??? need to know that???]

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YES <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#33cc33;">✓</span>	NO <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">✕</span>