[ Watching him retreat, Rey doesn't feel like she won.
It feels like the blood has drained from her body, like the storm will never pass, like the room has grown smaller, quieter, colder. Rey looks away. She can't stand to watch him like this. Instead, she picks up the device that Rost had charged them to find. Turning it over in her hands only makes her want to throw it at the wall. The metal is cold and unforgiving, just like this whole damned city.
She does not want to win when winning demands fighting against him. She wants them on the same side. She wants to feel close to him like she did before. Briefly, piteously, she looks over her shoulder at him. She's lucky that she slept first. Lying there in sheets that smelled of him would destroy her. That was the real reason she'd left their room at the hotel. She couldn't stand to sleep in a place that still felt like him, nor could she stand to see those markers of him erased.
Even now she just wants to crawl in beside him. But she can't force him. And she can't settle. So loneliness it is. She watches through the window as the rain stops. ]
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It feels like the blood has drained from her body, like the storm will never pass, like the room has grown smaller, quieter, colder. Rey looks away. She can't stand to watch him like this. Instead, she picks up the device that Rost had charged them to find. Turning it over in her hands only makes her want to throw it at the wall. The metal is cold and unforgiving, just like this whole damned city.
She does not want to win when winning demands fighting against him. She wants them on the same side. She wants to feel close to him like she did before. Briefly, piteously, she looks over her shoulder at him. She's lucky that she slept first. Lying there in sheets that smelled of him would destroy her. That was the real reason she'd left their room at the hotel. She couldn't stand to sleep in a place that still felt like him, nor could she stand to see those markers of him erased.
Even now she just wants to crawl in beside him. But she can't force him. And she can't settle. So loneliness it is. She watches through the window as the rain stops. ]