[He listens, fists still resting on her hands as if he'd forgotten they were there. No, he had not forgotten about the insects, as much as he had wanted to. He could remember the fear creeping up the back of his neck around every corner he earned, throwing himself bodily in front of everything and everyone that had come in harm's way. The way his uncle would have wanted him to do, and the way he felt most fulfilled.
That people needed him. That he could do something right.
And then Rey, consumed by the dark side. How she was drawn to him then, too -- to the Light, and the Jedi. How she'd reminded him of Snoke, and returned him to the Dark. It makes him sick, to think about it now with everything that had happened since. I have only gained by his hand he'd once said. He'd been so hungry to cling to Snoke's trust in him that he had failed to see what he was really doing.
But more importantly, there was something else she had said -- The Dark Side, the Light. I told you: it's more complicated than that. It comes to mind again, as it had when she'd attempted to corner him just a few days ago. Maybe it was more complicated than that.
The parasites -- he remembered hearing of it, shortly before it came time for him to transfer. By then, there was nothing he could do about it. He was severely injured and being moved away from them. But he remembered. Was she comparing him to one of them? The Dark Side to a parasite?
Then no. She still does not understand.]
I don't need saving.
[There is no bite this time, when he says it. He's exhausted, both from the relentless assault of the Dark, and from having to think so hard about all of this.]
I'm going to kill the Supreme Leader. There is no future where we both will live. [He trusts that it will be with her, as the Force had shown them.] I do not believe you need to turn to accomplish that.
[He opens his mouth to say something else, his eyes still cast downward, like he cannot pull the thought to the surface. His jaw shifts uncomfortably, and no sound comes out for a stretch of time.]
no subject
That people needed him. That he could do something right.
And then Rey, consumed by the dark side. How she was drawn to him then, too -- to the Light, and the Jedi. How she'd reminded him of Snoke, and returned him to the Dark. It makes him sick, to think about it now with everything that had happened since. I have only gained by his hand he'd once said. He'd been so hungry to cling to Snoke's trust in him that he had failed to see what he was really doing.
But more importantly, there was something else she had said -- The Dark Side, the Light. I told you: it's more complicated than that. It comes to mind again, as it had when she'd attempted to corner him just a few days ago. Maybe it was more complicated than that.
The parasites -- he remembered hearing of it, shortly before it came time for him to transfer. By then, there was nothing he could do about it. He was severely injured and being moved away from them. But he remembered. Was she comparing him to one of them? The Dark Side to a parasite?
Then no. She still does not understand.]
I don't need saving.
[There is no bite this time, when he says it. He's exhausted, both from the relentless assault of the Dark, and from having to think so hard about all of this.]
I'm going to kill the Supreme Leader. There is no future where we both will live. [He trusts that it will be with her, as the Force had shown them.] I do not believe you need to turn to accomplish that.
[He opens his mouth to say something else, his eyes still cast downward, like he cannot pull the thought to the surface. His jaw shifts uncomfortably, and no sound comes out for a stretch of time.]
Nor...do I believe you capable of turning.