[ the thing about taking feral animals in is that sooner or later they're going to bite you. rey's eyes flash to the movement of her saber hilt, and though she starts to lift her hand to react, she's not fast enough. not by a long shot, stunned as she is that he'd gone for it.
well. the force would have been able to bring it back to her hand, had he not taken it for himself. that she hadn't seen that coming and that he immediately ignites it prove the first signs that maybe she's made a questionable decision here. when the snap-hiss sounds, she flinches slightly, a jump that betrays that crossing that line changes things, somehow.
she swallows the lump in her throat, but it goes nowhere.
the heat in her face and arms is surely not actually the pulsing of the lightsabers, but it sure feels like it. her heart and stomach feel like lead in her gut. no. it's not the ozone burning. it's her fear. creeping up, consuming her.
real and present fear for her life sends any puzzled attempt to sift through the difference between ben solo and kylo ren out of her thoughts along with any concern that he's divorcing himself of the forgotten name. she can feel her muscles tightening like they're trying to walk her back towards the cave, but she can't bring herself to move. is that bravery or stupidity? or just more fear? ]
To you.
[ she says it again. what a stupid thing to dig her heels in on, she thinks as soon as it's out, but it's what she's got. but it gives her voice back to her, and she draws in a hurried breath. it sounds an awful lot like she's rushing the words out now, like she needs to get them out before he cuts her off in a bad way. time is short if she wants to avert a fight that she officially might not win. that's what she gets for telling poe she was the only one who'd successfully beaten him. stupid. ]
I can't force you to turn. I know that. [ she can feel tears pricking her eyes even as she says it aloud. urahara was right, that bastard. and this is, perhaps, punishment for her arrogance. but back in the empire of the crashing wave, and when she'd spoken to thrawn, she'd thought— maybe, he'd started to want to. maybe. it strikes her then, and before she can think to herself hey maybe don't say that out loud, she's saying it aloud. ] That's what really scares you.
[ that he has a reason to want to. that ben solo is a part of him, still, one that can't be buried. ]
no subject
well. the force would have been able to bring it back to her hand, had he not taken it for himself. that she hadn't seen that coming and that he immediately ignites it prove the first signs that maybe she's made a questionable decision here. when the snap-hiss sounds, she flinches slightly, a jump that betrays that crossing that line changes things, somehow.
she swallows the lump in her throat, but it goes nowhere.
the heat in her face and arms is surely not actually the pulsing of the lightsabers, but it sure feels like it. her heart and stomach feel like lead in her gut. no. it's not the ozone burning. it's her fear. creeping up, consuming her.
real and present fear for her life sends any puzzled attempt to sift through the difference between ben solo and kylo ren out of her thoughts along with any concern that he's divorcing himself of the forgotten name. she can feel her muscles tightening like they're trying to walk her back towards the cave, but she can't bring herself to move. is that bravery or stupidity? or just more fear? ]
To you.
[ she says it again. what a stupid thing to dig her heels in on, she thinks as soon as it's out, but it's what she's got. but it gives her voice back to her, and she draws in a hurried breath. it sounds an awful lot like she's rushing the words out now, like she needs to get them out before he cuts her off in a bad way. time is short if she wants to avert a fight that she officially might not win. that's what she gets for telling poe she was the only one who'd successfully beaten him. stupid. ]
I can't force you to turn. I know that. [ she can feel tears pricking her eyes even as she says it aloud. urahara was right, that bastard. and this is, perhaps, punishment for her arrogance. but back in the empire of the crashing wave, and when she'd spoken to thrawn, she'd thought— maybe, he'd started to want to. maybe. it strikes her then, and before she can think to herself hey maybe don't say that out loud, she's saying it aloud. ] That's what really scares you.
[ that he has a reason to want to. that ben solo is a part of him, still, one that can't be buried. ]