[ something presses down on her lungs. hers? no. his. an impatient need, but he's fighting it. but it makes her feel like she's suffocating with him.
a cold shadow spreads, creeping outward to swell in the room around them, in this liminal space that is hers and his and somewhere in the middle. she is sitting on soft mattress and hard floor at the same time and yet somehow also sitting on nothing at all. it curls under her skin, as if infecting her from the point where their hands touch.
he's still fighting it. she hadn't understood, the night of the ambush, why he had pushed her away in contradiction to the words he'd offered her in that hut on ahch-to, but now she sees it. the conflict runs through him like an open wound.
she has externalized all of it. tears of frustration. lashing out at poe, at keith. how foolish to think that because he was so stoic, so hard-faced, that it was easier for him to stomach.
it's a miracle he isn't screaming. ]
Look at me. [ she pulls at his hand, trying to draw his attention back to her.
his fear calls to her and something in her chest echoes the same sentiment back. dread. it is what the mission on the mothership had taught her to fear, what poe had reinforced. she clings tighter to his hand. it's like he's slipping away from her. like he's afraid of her. not in the same way as poe and keith, maybe, but in some way.
urgency makes her breath short. rey reaches up with her free hand to catch the side of his face. ]
Don't be afraid. It's just me.
[ please don't be afraid of me. poe thinks she is a monster, though he doesn't have the words or the proof yet, his opinion is steel. others will too. she won't be able to take it if ben is too. ]
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a cold shadow spreads, creeping outward to swell in the room around them, in this liminal space that is hers and his and somewhere in the middle. she is sitting on soft mattress and hard floor at the same time and yet somehow also sitting on nothing at all. it curls under her skin, as if infecting her from the point where their hands touch.
he's still fighting it. she hadn't understood, the night of the ambush, why he had pushed her away in contradiction to the words he'd offered her in that hut on ahch-to, but now she sees it. the conflict runs through him like an open wound.
she has externalized all of it. tears of frustration. lashing out at poe, at keith. how foolish to think that because he was so stoic, so hard-faced, that it was easier for him to stomach.
it's a miracle he isn't screaming. ]
Look at me. [ she pulls at his hand, trying to draw his attention back to her.
his fear calls to her and something in her chest echoes the same sentiment back. dread. it is what the mission on the mothership had taught her to fear, what poe had reinforced. she clings tighter to his hand. it's like he's slipping away from her. like he's afraid of her. not in the same way as poe and keith, maybe, but in some way.
urgency makes her breath short. rey reaches up with her free hand to catch the side of his face. ]
Don't be afraid. It's just me.
[ please don't be afraid of me. poe thinks she is a monster, though he doesn't have the words or the proof yet, his opinion is steel. others will too. she won't be able to take it if ben is too. ]