How am I supposed to control it when I don't even understand how it works?

[That is partially hissed, like he is afraid someone else might hear him. He still feels as if something is knocking on his mind, trying to find a hole to make its way inside, and so he has to close his eyes for stretches of time to come back tot himself.]

I could have. I'm not trying to hurt people -- unless I have to.

[To protect himself. So, in this case, maybe it was justified--no. No. No. He vigorously shakes his head to dispel the thought.]