[ 'Liar' hangs over her as she disappears into the crew cabin, gathering the blanket and the book and her saber and trying to ignore the fact that she has outright nested in his bed like a lost bird. It is not the worst thing she has been called; not even the worst thing he has called her. But it stings because he has caught her, spotted the chink in her armor and sought to exploit it.
She burrows under the weighted blanket, and under the rest of his bedding, only once she has tucked the lightsaber and book away where they won't disrupt her sleep. The smell of his pillow only makes his presence linger in worse and more obvious ways. She wrestles with that, tossing and turning with no way to get comfortable. The nightmares wait at the edges of her mind as if he has summoned them.
She rolls flat onto her back and stares up at the ceiling. The weight of the blanket only makes her feel claustrophobic. The ambience of his stirring and chattering, as annoying as she claims him to be, has been helping to dispel the unease lingering in the back of her mind. It descends now unchecked, hideous memories and intrusive thoughts she can't fight.
Out of sheer stubbornness she presses her eyes shut and buries her face in his pillow and bites down her rage.
Kira should not be here. She should have gone back to Snoke, should have flown them all the way to that fake base and taken the punishment she was given. Now she's a fugitive tied at the end of a string. It is only a matter of time before her Master comes calling, and she will suffer worse for indulging this. She should be able to hate Snoke for that, but instead she finds the fury channeled toward Ben Solo for daring to seduce her to entertaining it in the first place.
Eventually anger brings her the calm necessary to fall into a fitful sleep. ]
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She burrows under the weighted blanket, and under the rest of his bedding, only once she has tucked the lightsaber and book away where they won't disrupt her sleep. The smell of his pillow only makes his presence linger in worse and more obvious ways. She wrestles with that, tossing and turning with no way to get comfortable. The nightmares wait at the edges of her mind as if he has summoned them.
She rolls flat onto her back and stares up at the ceiling. The weight of the blanket only makes her feel claustrophobic. The ambience of his stirring and chattering, as annoying as she claims him to be, has been helping to dispel the unease lingering in the back of her mind. It descends now unchecked, hideous memories and intrusive thoughts she can't fight.
Out of sheer stubbornness she presses her eyes shut and buries her face in his pillow and bites down her rage.
Kira should not be here. She should have gone back to Snoke, should have flown them all the way to that fake base and taken the punishment she was given. Now she's a fugitive tied at the end of a string. It is only a matter of time before her Master comes calling, and she will suffer worse for indulging this. She should be able to hate Snoke for that, but instead she finds the fury channeled toward Ben Solo for daring to seduce her to entertaining it in the first place.
Eventually anger brings her the calm necessary to fall into a fitful sleep. ]