It wouldn't have been more difficult if I'd succeeded.
[ If she'd had the gall to go through with it. Those words, she can't say; she's too ashamed of herself for her failure. It's too fresh. She draws her legs up onto the bunk in front of her, curling up like a scolded child. ]
I'd have been out the window and gone.
[ Broken something, maybe. Her shoulder would certainly be worse for wear. She'd survived worse than this. Much worse. She has the scars to show for it, and it's a miracle of mercy that he doesn't have that he hasn't seen them firsthand to know that. She can't bring herself to trust that mercy because it's so at odds with everything else she has seen. So tenuous.
Or maybe they would have found and killed her, and then it would be over too. She had failed to do that for herself too. ]
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[ If she'd had the gall to go through with it. Those words, she can't say; she's too ashamed of herself for her failure. It's too fresh. She draws her legs up onto the bunk in front of her, curling up like a scolded child. ]
I'd have been out the window and gone.
[ Broken something, maybe. Her shoulder would certainly be worse for wear. She'd survived worse than this. Much worse. She has the scars to show for it, and it's a miracle of mercy that he doesn't have that he hasn't seen them firsthand to know that. She can't bring herself to trust that mercy because it's so at odds with everything else she has seen. So tenuous.
Or maybe they would have found and killed her, and then it would be over too. She had failed to do that for herself too. ]