forcevisions: (these feelings tend to leave me)
actual shounen hero ([personal profile] forcevisions) wrote in [personal profile] sololoquy 2018-05-23 01:12 am (UTC)

[ He wasn't the only one to spend the night feeling sick. Self-loathing and disappointment churned Rey's stomach. She'd finally had the chance, stared her freedom in the eye, and she hadn't been able to do it. He'd said it best: she'd lost her nerve. How humiliating.

She couldn't help but think he had no right to his anger and surprise. Never had she masked her hatred for him, her desire to escape. What did he think she would do? And what would he do, now that he had apparently misplaced trust in her supposed willingness to be in his company? Back to the way he had been that first day, she supposed. Dragging her around by the throat and threatening her and refusing to hear anything she said.

All she'd done was make things harder on herself. She'd never be able to kill him while he was conscious, and she didn't have it in her to kill him while he was sleeping. Where'd that leave her? Stuck. With him, leading him on his merry way to Luke Skywalker.

She sat back on her bunk, numb and disconnected. It took a few moments' silence before she tried to instigate some explanation for herself.
]

Did you expect me to rejoice in my circumstances?

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