[ She was shaking before he grabbed her, teetering on the verge of frustrated tears at her own impotence, at her own uselessness and failure. Until she could do this simple task, she would be trapped with him, but still she could not bring herself. Some part of her knew that if she did that, she would be too far gone, she would have let the world and all its pain ruin her, but— But wasn't she already? What did she have to call herself? A craven who gave up the information on Skywalker at the first threat on her worthless bastard's virtue.
Whatever other self-flagellation she had prepared had no time to take hold of her. Rey watched as his eyes snapped open, glinting in the dim moonlight that filtered through the window with a murderous fury. He was dazed. She almost got out of his grip, but — A yelp made its way from her as his grip closed around her uninjured arm.
Her good arm. Not the one that would bring her down, screaming in agony.
The knife thunked against the floorboards as he dropped it too. Reason and observation shouted for her to calm herself, to look at the fact, to see that he was not going to kill her but instinct drove her on anyway, wrestling in his grip. She even brought up her bad arm to try and pry his grip loose. All the while she thought of the Kingswood. She had lost her nerve there too. If she had killed herself then ... But she hadn't done that either. Because she was an idiot. A brave idiot, but an idiot nonetheless. ]
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Whatever other self-flagellation she had prepared had no time to take hold of her. Rey watched as his eyes snapped open, glinting in the dim moonlight that filtered through the window with a murderous fury. He was dazed. She almost got out of his grip, but — A yelp made its way from her as his grip closed around her uninjured arm.
Her good arm. Not the one that would bring her down, screaming in agony.
The knife thunked against the floorboards as he dropped it too. Reason and observation shouted for her to calm herself, to look at the fact, to see that he was not going to kill her but instinct drove her on anyway, wrestling in his grip. She even brought up her bad arm to try and pry his grip loose. All the while she thought of the Kingswood. She had lost her nerve there too. If she had killed herself then ... But she hadn't done that either. Because she was an idiot. A brave idiot, but an idiot nonetheless. ]