[ She unearths her name from him and she realizes it's what she's been waiting for. That strained, sloppy prayer. She seethes out her exhale against his skin, savoring this moment. It will be gone soon, and she will be back to waiting.
Distantly, in the back of her mind, she registers the way his hand slows. It's a full body awareness, the way they trade back and forth when the bond has dilated like this. She doesn't need to look or feel the twitch of muscle in his back helping his arm to move slower. She just knows. ]
Yes. [ She encourages him, suddenly hungry for it. She starts a steady rhythm, settling on pushing it in only as far as he could take it and pumping rather than trying to urge him to take more. ] I want to hear you.
[ That begging, the way he cried and groaned and strained — from the effort of holding himself back, of taking her in. It's a facsimile, this toy. Just like this moment. Of something that could have been, but wasn't. She bites down on tears that try to come early. She strangles it, and her voice is slightly hoarse when she says— ]
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Distantly, in the back of her mind, she registers the way his hand slows. It's a full body awareness, the way they trade back and forth when the bond has dilated like this. She doesn't need to look or feel the twitch of muscle in his back helping his arm to move slower. She just knows. ]
Yes. [ She encourages him, suddenly hungry for it. She starts a steady rhythm, settling on pushing it in only as far as he could take it and pumping rather than trying to urge him to take more. ] I want to hear you.
[ That begging, the way he cried and groaned and strained — from the effort of holding himself back, of taking her in. It's a facsimile, this toy. Just like this moment. Of something that could have been, but wasn't. She bites down on tears that try to come early. She strangles it, and her voice is slightly hoarse when she says— ]
Tell me how it feels, Ben.