[With the amount of armored infantry present, the Vengeance often ran cold. The only time it turned out to be trouble was nights like this one, where Kylo Ren could not find the rest he so desperately sought, even after laying in bed for hours. Unsurprising, of course -- as it turned out, he was not a very fitting leader for the First Order.
Since the death of the Supreme Leader and Rey's refusal to join him, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about what he could have done differently. He'd still been able to feel the bond, something that almost felt like a vestigial limb compared to what it had been when it was fresh and new. He'd never had the focus to properly bridge the gap, but Rey --
He's since forgotten what it had felt like, for the bond to fully manifest. Its been months since he's had a real conversation that wasn't him barking an order to a trooper. Their attempts to hunt down the last remaining pocket of the Resistance, his efforts to capture Rey alive and make another attempt to convince her to stand with him -- all thusfar unsuccessful.
By now, he had figured out what she was doing in the mean time. It was impossible that he was finding reminders of his past consistently littered about his ship -- things that didn't exist anymore, people who had forgotten him, and...things they'd shared together in their short time with one another. It'd never been something he'd admit, even privately to himself -- but the sentiment was always there now, in the wake of his realization.
He was starving. He did not think it would be this hard to move on -- and he had tried. Alone, with subordinates. He'd never found that emotional connection again, even if he'd since transcended the physical. Was that her goal?
It would have been a sound strategy -- her extended absence only made him more desperate to have that contact, any sort of contact from her back again, especially in hours like this where he could feel gooseflesh creeping up on his bare back. Perhaps it is that which draws her in from the other end of the galaxy. He is too busy messing with the waistband of his pants with one hand that the sudden increase of weight on the bed behind him does not even register.]
carries this AU into the light
Since the death of the Supreme Leader and Rey's refusal to join him, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about what he could have done differently. He'd still been able to feel the bond, something that almost felt like a vestigial limb compared to what it had been when it was fresh and new. He'd never had the focus to properly bridge the gap, but Rey --
He's since forgotten what it had felt like, for the bond to fully manifest. Its been months since he's had a real conversation that wasn't him barking an order to a trooper. Their attempts to hunt down the last remaining pocket of the Resistance, his efforts to capture Rey alive and make another attempt to convince her to stand with him -- all thusfar unsuccessful.
By now, he had figured out what she was doing in the mean time. It was impossible that he was finding reminders of his past consistently littered about his ship -- things that didn't exist anymore, people who had forgotten him, and...things they'd shared together in their short time with one another. It'd never been something he'd admit, even privately to himself -- but the sentiment was always there now, in the wake of his realization.
He was starving. He did not think it would be this hard to move on -- and he had tried. Alone, with subordinates. He'd never found that emotional connection again, even if he'd since transcended the physical. Was that her goal?
It would have been a sound strategy -- her extended absence only made him more desperate to have that contact, any sort of contact from her back again, especially in hours like this where he could feel gooseflesh creeping up on his bare back. Perhaps it is that which draws her in from the other end of the galaxy. He is too busy messing with the waistband of his pants with one hand that the sudden increase of weight on the bed behind him does not even register.]